Can Love Make Us Happy?
To love and to be loved is the beauty of life. Many people yearn for peace, love and happiness myself included. Love brings happiness that is what we are made to think from very early stages in life. Must we make others happy for us to be happy too? These are some of the dangerous myths in life that can keep you standing on your way to happiness.
Life is going to be a misery if we try to please others throughout our lives. People usually become bitter, resentful and in most cases hateful to people we fail to please. If we do not resist this planted seed of co-dependence we are doomed to live for others. Happiness just like love is energy and when it is shared it brings out the best results.
Try to think of a moment when you share a joke with a friend. The laughter brings out bursts of laughter that makes you feel so good. The exchange of this energy we call happiness is what gives a good feeling. A happy person attracts a lot of love because it is easily reflected in every activity. This creates a strong bond between love and happiness. For instance, people will always return your charming smile even though they are strangers. That is the best reflection of self-happiness. On the other hand, if you are frowning and looking ugly and angry, people will helplessly scowl at you.
There is a common adage that 'life is hard and we have to struggle to be happy'. But I beg to differ and I attribute this to our expectations of struggles and problems. It is amazing that when things are moving too smoothly for us, we subconsciously expect something bad to happen. Life was meant to be easy but pessimism interferes with the natural flow of happiness in our lives. What your mind expects is what you get, so everyone should be careful of their expectations. When the romantic relationship is going as it should, lovers panic and wait for a thunderstorm. Fear is a great thing that stands in the way of love and happiness. Fear stops you from following your heart in matters of romantic relationships. You should know that fear, love and relationship cannot coexist in the human heart.
There is a common adage that 'life is hard and we have to struggle to be happy'. But I beg to differ and I attribute this to our expectations of struggles and problems. It is amazing that when things are moving too smoothly for us, we subconsciously expect something bad to happen. Life was meant to be easy but pessimism interferes with the natural flow of happiness in our lives. What your mind expects is what you get, so everyone should be careful of their expectations. When the romantic relationship is going as it should, lovers panic and wait for a thunderstorm. Fear is a great thing that stands in the way of love and happiness. Fear stops you from following your heart in matters of romantic relationships. You should know that fear, love and relationship cannot coexist in the human heart.
You should choose to be happy and to worry less. Open your heart to happiness and you will experience a breakthrough in love and happiness. There are times when you feel a lot of joy in your heart and the peace you feel should not be an occasional feeling. You will have successful romantic relationships if you have a positive relationship with yourself. You and those around you will enjoy life while at the same time relaxing, being who you are without getting out of your way to impress others.
There is a misconception that love and happiness is a goal to be attained in the future and that there must be a good reason for our happiness. But the truth is, each passing day should bring a new and unique experience to you and your loved ones. We should be able to enjoy this bliss without the need for any reason.
Although we are culturally programmed to view romantic love as the answer to life's difficulties, I think that happiness is rarely love's main goal. This is not to say that love can't make us happy. Obviously, it can bring us the kind of bliss that few other things in life can. It can make us feel fully alive, tingling with hope and zest for life. But if happiness is how we characterise love's overall mission, we overlook the importance of its sadder frequencies; we fail to see that the setbacks and disappointments of love are often a legitimate part of the process.
If we expect love to make us happy, we automatically interpret its setbacks and disappointments as a sign of failure. But what if happiness is merely one aspect of love's multi-faceted mission? What if love is more interested in our growth than our happiness? From this perspective, romantic setbacks and disappointments might actually be more effective in accomplishing love's aim than its more triumphant moments. By this I don't mean to vaporise suffering. I'm not saying that we should purposely court setbacks and disappointments or that we should be pleased when these are what our romantic lives deliver. I'm not in the business of glorifying pain. But we need to understand that love may be trying to teach us lessons that have nothing to do with happiness - at least not in any immediate sense.
Many of us are able to look back at love's setbacks and disappointments with a degree of appreciation precisely because we understand, in retrospect, that they forced us to grow, often turning us into more interesting and multi-dimensional individuals. And we may also recognise that our past heartbreaks make us better lovers in the present, in part because we would be more aware of the complexity of love, and in part because heartbreak tends to heighten our sensitivity to the misery of others, so that we are more likely to treat our partner with gentleness and care. But all of these can be difficult to appreciate in the midst of love's stormy moments. When our partner abandons us, or when love comes to a sudden end without any explanation whatsoever, it's difficult to see how we might eventually benefit; it's hard to see that failure might be love's roundabout means of attaining its goal.
Many of us believe that when love fails, it's because we did something wrong. We didn't play ‘the game’ correctly. Or we committed some silly mistakes that caused our romance to topple. But in reality, when love fails it's not always because of some misstep of ours. Rather, it's because it's the nature of love to be fickle and impulsive. Many of our relationships are not meant to have a happy ending. They are a training ground for deeper and more insightful lives. They are a wellspring of wisdom that we can carry to other aspects of our lives well after our relationship has ended. And they are a way for us to refine our characters so that we become better at the art of living, including the art of loving and relating.
The failures of love, in short, are only failures if we define love's mission in a very narrow way. As soon as we expand our definition, what may at first glance seem like a failure may in fact be a gift of unfathomable proportions.
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